When I was a kid we would watch those holiday special episodes where the father would be playing with the sons and the mother and daughter would be in the kitchen making the family dinner. I would ask myself, “Why does the father not help his wife? Why do they all sit around the kitchen table enjoying the homemade meal while the women do the dishes after cooking all the food?”
These depictions can be so harmful to the young impressionable people of the world. These conditions are always present in Christmas ads and movies. Such depictions of gender roles in popular media seem to have always divided men and women into specific roles that have become so prominent in our society today.
Even as society grows away from the typical nuclear family — and Americans have become more accepting of differences — I still feel like those corny holiday jokes always rear their ugly heads every holiday season. Especially around the dinner table, jokes about mothers who buy and wrap all the gifts and then write dad on the gift tag. And there is also the cliche of the mom who is always in the kitchen while the dad is sprawled out on the couch watching football. Or the mom who’s trying to clean up just before her judgmental mother-in-law gets there. It makes it all feel like one big year-round joke. I see it on social media every time the holidays get closer.
While these cliche depictions and jokes, can be funny on the surface, the reality is that they can be harmful in perpetuating those with subservient views of women. They reinforce the idea that all fathers are lazy and that all mothers are supposed to cook and clean.
These subservient depictions of women can be especially harmful to little girls and young women. According to the HBS, The Harvard Working Knowledge website. These stereotypes are damaging to the psyche of young women, lowering their self-esteem when they constantly consume this media. Seeing men in all these positions of power, It makes women feel as though their lives will always be in the hands of men in a man’s world, and that there is no point in striving to work in those powerful positions. “They lack confidence in their ability to compete in fields that men are stereotypically believed to perform more strongly in, such as science, math, and technology.” said in research done by Katherine B. Coffman, reaffirming what we already knew.
Depiction of women in the media always seems tainted by undercurrents of sexism, especially when it comes to ads targeting moms during the holidays. These ads always seem to portray the mothers as the ones responsible for caring for their children, getting them ready, basically just depicting women in a way that says their ideal purpose is to be mothers.
Every time you see a woman on screen, it’s either to do with her children or how she’s trying to clean up. I mean when was the last time you saw a man doing a cleaning product commercial by himself, and if he was, were they depicting him as competent? I don’t think that these things are inherently deep, and to recognize the stereotypes you really think about the intent of the ad, showing how ingrained sexism is in our society.
November and December are prime times for seeing lots of holiday ads when companies begin to capitalize on parents buying toys for their children. When you see those kinds of ads you can see the clear difference in what toy is for girls and what toy is for boys. As a kid, you don’t care what you get as long as you get something cool. However, there is a clear difference in what toys are meant for boys and girls.
There are different meanings to the word cool depending on the person, but when you see the ads with monster trucks, dinosaurs, and video games, kids can see a theme with who these toys are intended. It’s disappointing that these big companies don’t market these items in ways that avoid reinforcing gender stereotypes. They don’t have to make it pink and frilly for a lot of girls to like it. I remember when I was younger, I always hated when all the Five Nights at Freddy’s shirts were in the boys’ section. I always felt like I got weird looks for excitedly asking my mom to get me one. Or when people would tell me that because I was a girl I’d never be able to like video games or be any good at them.
While some of these gender roles are taught and reinforced by parents themselves, popular media and advertising exacerbate the consequences of these stereotypes. Sure at the age of 7, many girls want pink frilly toys but that is not the case for all of them. When girls have baby dolls shoved into their arms and boys are forced into complying with the gender norm of liking sports and monster trucks, this robs children of the opportunity to explore other interests. Kids should be allowed to just be kids.
This also extends to the unfortunate stereotype that all girls fantasize about getting married. They’ve been taught that being girly and dainty is what they have to do to get a man to like them and that they should be subservient to them for their protection. Kids do not make up these ideas in their heads, these things are taught. People often say that kids are taught hate, which makes me think a bit more about this. Kids aren’t aware of stereotypes, rather they’re slowly taught about the hatred of the world.
This also happens to adults when you see an ad for wine so heavily marketed towards women. When you finally see a man swirling his wine-filled glass you think “Why is he drinking that? Is he gay? What a girly drink.” What makes it a girly drink? Ultimately, it’s the advertising that tells us that wine is only something women and mothers enjoy.
Essentially I feel women will always be the main topic when it comes to sexism, but there is always an inverse to every argument you choose to make. There are also plenty of cases when boys want to have a Barbie doll for Christmas but his parents tell him no, just because he’s a boy.
Another offensive and harmful stereotype is the idea that all fathers are lazy and all they do is sit on the couch. Most fathers would be offended and hurt if someone were to say they did nothing to contribute. This includes my own dad, who not only works a multi-day week, but he works hard to help my mom out with the holiday cooking, whether he does the outside cooking or helps with the inside. He also does his best to help clean.
These ideals aren’t just harmful to the standing of women, it’s harmful to men as well, especially single fathers who work hard to provide their kids with a “normal Christmas.”
I understand that our societal norms are the result of traditions that have been practiced for decades or even centuries. However, there comes a time when traditions become obsolete or more harmful than beneficial. The point of life is to create new things, and to grow from what is the norm.
I am not saying that it is wrong for mothers to enjoy cooking or for fathers to indulge in football and grilling during the holidays, but there is value in questioning whether it is time to do away with traditions that can have harmful impacts on our children and the developing psyche of young women and men.
