Something that seems innocent at first can quickly become a terrible violation of the trust of a minor with an adult.
This is the sad truth that the Akins community discovered on Dec. 8, when Akins Principal Michael Herbin sent out a letter to the Akins family stating that a tutor had been arrested on a charge of indecency with a child by contact, related to an incident that happened on campus in October.
Incidents of so-called “grooming” behavior are more common than some realize. One in nine girls and one in 20 under-aged boys are survivors of sexual abuse and or assault, according to Rainn.org. Those statistics include children who experienced grooming.
Student Support Services counselor Meg Kozel explained that students should be aware of the common red flags that adult groomers use to take advantage of minors. She referred to an article written by Anissa Munzo titled “Grooming: the signs,” published by the Center for Child Protection.
The article explained that “grooming is a process by which offenders gradually draw victims into sexual relationships and maintain that relationship in secrecy.”
She also explained that grooming is often the beginning stage of sexual abuse. Where things can become cloudy is when victims are made to feel confused, or at fault for their behavior with the abuser. She notes that statistically people who are abused by someone they know such as family or trusted adults.
“Sometimes we have this idea of the groomer you know, like someone who someone met on the Internet, which is definitely a reality right? But more often than not, it’s someone who already had access to that child or teen, Kozel said.”
Kozel said students should consider a variety of behaviors as red flags, including special attention such as spending more time with the victim, giving gifts in exchange for specific things, isolation from friends, and undermining relationships.
Kozel said students should be wary of any adult who engages in these kinds of behaviors around a minor or says things like “They don’t know you like I do.”
The grooming behavior can be subtle at first and hard to spot, but those are probably the most important to look out for because they are the foundation for the abuse to intensify, she said. Eventually, the groomer will push or cross normal personal boundaries.
“Maybe that’s a hug that lasts just a little too long or a lot of pats on the back,” Kozel said. “And then maybe it’s doing things that make us feel gross and yucky when we’re talking about them like sitting on laps or things.”
Kozel also said that groomers will be touchy in inappropriate ways and then say it was an accident. Another sign of grooming that is important for teens to watch out for is adults offering to supply illegal substances whether that is drugs, alcohol or vapes. Students should also be concerned if an adult sends them memes or messages with sexual connotations while telling their victim to not tell anyone.
According to a police affidavit, the grooming incident at Akins occurred on Oct. 25. The mother of a 14-year-old at Akins student reported to the police that her child was touched inappropriately by Xavier Smith, a 28-year-old tutor at Akins. Smith was hired through a third-party college readiness program. The tutor was terminated on the same day the report was made of child indecency. Smith had offered to buy the student underwear and had also offered shoes. Smith would tell the student to stay back in the computer lab once all the other students left and would inappropriately touch the student over their clothes.
Akins is not the only school with this problem.
Another grooming incident was recently reported in nearby Kyle after Danielle Elizabeth Dunn, a Hays High School clerk was taken into custody to follow in an investigation on Jan. 25. A report was filed on Jan. 21 that accused Dunn of being involved in a relationship with a Hays student.
Dunn turned herself in on Jan. 25, when she was charged with a second-degree felony of an inappropriate relationship with a student. She was also charged with a third-degree felony for child grooming. This investigation is still ongoing with the Kyle Police Department.
When asked what someone should do if they are in a situation like this Kozel said that students should tell a trusted adult as soon as possible. Whether that person at Akins like the student support services office, counselor, administrator, or more personnel like a parent or caregiver who can contact the proper authorities.
Kozel also explained that it is understandable for victims to be afraid to speak up.
“You have done nothing wrong in this situation. Often people who are groomed or who are survivors of sexual abuse are made to feel like and that’s kind of part of the grooming process,” she said. “Part of that process is to get the victim to feel that no one will understand them but also to make victims believe this is their fault in a way. To the people who are too afraid to speak up, I would just remind you that those lies you’ve been fed are not true, there are people who truly care about you and can truly help you and it doesn’t have to go on forever.”
